While cleaning out some old posts, I noticed Robin warned us about a Match
Game revival and Ian taunted me to watch it.

Match Game 2025 S06E01
“I'm Gonna Hug You, Okay?”

The firestick didn’t have it but the DVR did. Snarl. It’s on ABC on demand and there are three episodes of the new season. I started with the first.

The announcer thrills us with the stars

Selena Gomez! Somehow she got skinny again. And I can taste the flavor of
her Oreo cookies as if I were licking the screen.

Cara Delevingne. Wait, aren’t they both on Only Murderers in the Building?

Kevin Nealon. Who?

Anthony Anderson. Fresh from his triumphant quitting with a hissy fit of
Law & Order.

Ziwe. WHO?

B D Wong

And special guest contestants

Joy Blessing
Kwame Onwuachi
Misty Waterfalls

Oh, come on. They’re just making names up.

And hosted by Martin Short, brought in to replace Alec Baldwin, who was
busy being on trial for murder.

Directed by Harbinder Singh of Family Feud Canadia so you can see they
spared no expense.

After a protracted and literally painful monologue and banter, they bring
out the guest stars contestants. Misty Waterfalls turns out to be a drag
queen, just mincing and prancing all over the place. Cara says that if he’s straight, she’s straight.

The questions are ridiculously simple. The only reason anybody can miss
them is clearly deliberate.

In the first round, Blessing (who claims to be 54 but looks like Barbara Eden‘s mother) beats Waterfalls and goes on to win $2000 with which she intends to buy a new car. Good luck with that.

After a commercial for Bachelor in Paradise which, as hard as it is to
believe, looks like it would be even worse than this mess …

It’s Missy (no last name) versus Kwame Onwuachi who claims to work at the best African market in New Jersey selling foo foo.

I’d like to say that Missy won, but in actual literal fact Kwame lost. He could not have scored fewer points had he not shown up at all. He filled in
the blank for “the Dentist drilled a hole in his _____, not his tooth“ with the astonishing answer “booth“ which he had to explain was PG for “buttocks“

Missy wins $3000 by invoking the name of a mentally ill woman. And then
boosts it to $25,000 by answering “_____ wash” with “car”

I think Ian has beaten me. I can’t watch another one of these. I’ll just give you the episode titles and “STARZ” names.

S06E02 “It's a Shell Game”

Ana Gasteyer - who?
Randall Park - who?!
Jay Pharoah - who?!?
Caroline Rhea - fresh from Sabrina, the teenage witch and 1996
Phoebe Robinson - WHO?!?!
Constance Zimmer - always wondered whatever happened to her. She looks
pretty good for an old broad. Apparently she’ll have a one shot guest appearance in “Guardian Asshole”

S06E03 “Look Closer, Buddy”

Stars (say it with me now WHO?!)
Pete Holmes
Thomas Lennon
Andrea Martin
Ego Nwodim
Robert Smigel
Jackie Tohn

And extra special guest contestants

Nikita Arora
Michael Pez

I give up. Ian, you’ve won.








--
The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it is still on my list.

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