On Mon, 30 Jun 2025 4:51:24 +0000, HarryLime wrote:

HarryLime wrote:
THE SHITHOLEVILLE MYTHOS: Ode to My Slurp-puppet PART FIVE

"Intermezzo:
Isaac
Iseck
Isick
Isock
Isuck

"Sleigh bells ring and I'll have a listen
Music is posted and I'll have a listen
Videos are mentioned and I'll have a listen
I post that I will, but I never listen.

"I can't understand what I hear or I read
I doubt that some schoolin' would help with this need.
George Dance says I'm great, but he too's a hayseed.
I hoped jeers would stop when I got GED'd.

"I think I'll send gift cards if folks visit my blog.
The only person there has been you, General Clog.
Can I steal cards at Sarah's bait shop in the bog?
I could also send pictures of Ma with that dog.

"Hey, my name is Will D.
and I'll get the last word.
Man, did you ever see
an unflushable turd?
When you do, think of me.

"My names at the bottom
of every post you read.
It's like it's late Autumn,
and I'm the dead leaves creed.
Those dead leaves bought 'em:

"but not me, not Will D.
Watch, I'll get the last word.
The unflushable turd.
Watch, I'll get the last word.

"I float on the stage like the Goodyear balloon.
My stance is as if I will use the bathroom.
The audience pelts me with rotten legumes,
Still you worship me faithfully, General Poltroon.

"Thanks for the rub of my stub, Zod!
Your remarks are like larks!
How about this?
I'll write some crap
While you sit on my lap,
In one of the public parks.

"I have posted this song a thousand times, gee,
but I never will tire of my yeee, weee, loooooogie.
If LeGents would hold the cross-dress shows for free,
I'd rock Nelly's blue gown that shows off my knees.

"The red-butted stranger walked into my shed.
He didn't have clothes on but had great bedhead.
I asked him to lie down and then I manspread.
Zod, do you know a cop named Right-Said-Red-Butted Fred?

"Thanks for the endorse!
You're always welcome, of course!
The way that you applaud
Makes me feel like a god
No one would question the source.

"I've fastened neon lights to the sides of my butt
so you can clearly see it when you are in rut.
White lights lead to red lights"that's your shortcut.
No emergency exits for you, Captain General Smut.

"General Zod, I fear my pants are too tight;
when they split, my butt gets massive frostbite.
Silent, deadly farts spontaneously ignite,
and organic bat signals alert your campsite.

"My name is Will and I'm a donkey
My friend, George Sulzbach's name is 'Skunky'
Although we both smell pretty funky
Excuse me while George spanks my monkey.

"My name is Will and I'm a donkey
I'm told my breath smells rather spunky
I scarf down waffles till I'm chunky
And dance all day just like a monkey.

"Zod, you'll want a drumstick from road turkey on Thursday.
The other's for Derundo to help him to play
on his one drum he beats with a tuneless melee,
but the Conleys don't care since they've hit the highway.

"Zod, the Thanksgiving menu is spit-on-a-rat--
we'll have hundreds to grill, with thanks to our cats.
They have dark, diseased meat but minimum fat.
For dessert we'll have ant pie with toppings of gnats.

"Thanks for the pat on my back, Jack!
How about you make a whack on my sac?
Let's post all night while the time is right,
You're the ego that I lack.

"Thanks for the yanks on my wank and for giving
Head in the shed where I work for a living,
Sponging off Brother Dave's SSI checks,
Singing karaoke to local rednecks.

"Thanks for the words, Zod.
Your words are great; you're no clod.
Keep saying good job and great,
For your words I can not wait,
Don't forget to nod on my rod, Zod.

"Thank you for plucking my Thanksgiving carcass,
I love that you pull, push, and huff on my hip truss.
My white meat, my dark meat, even the green pus,
You're sailing my gravy boat now, General Short Bus.

"Zod, let me know where the close dumpsters are.
I now have to walk, since I totaled Dave's car.
Is the rottenest food still behind LeGents Bar?
Or in back of the Sizzler, do you give it 5 Stars?

"You nailed turkey wings to your back and your limbs.
You said that they helped you when out stealing rims
or if caught, fly the coop without pseudonyms.
General Zod, can I stuff you [crude synonym]?

"Thanks for your read in the reeds, General Weed.
Dirty Mike says that you and his dog often breed.
The offspring are half mutt and half millipede.
The runt looks like Clay, so should I help moobfeed?

"Thanks for the tug on my pug, General Bug.
I'll be your booty and you, my butt plug.
We'll be as snug as two slugs in a jug,
So thanks for the tug on my pug, General Bug.

"General Zod -- dumb, slow Jordy is ripe for the picking;
invite him to come to your camp for a licking.
He'll think that means action without even tricking,
or tell him the Commies are there politicking.

"Thanks for the plug, my man!
I'll write crap whenever I can!
Don't worry about me, I don't get upset!
I'll post and troll from sunrise to sunset!
Now if you don't mind, I've got to compose more sh*t.
No need to worry -- I'll be back in a bit!

"How do you feel about showering with Jordy?
I know that he's old for you, way over 40.
Age is a number, and soap on the floor, gee,
when he bends you can be his mentor, see?

"Dickery, Dockery, mockery
Oh so epic the ass hattery,
so tumultuous his bobbery,
one has to join the mockery.
Come all, join the drollery
of the foolery and gaudery.
Dickery, Dockery, mockery.

"Zod, I don't think that we'll both go to Heaven.
You have only 'till April, according to Pen.
I am the chosen, and you are a has-been.
God will agree you're a 1 to my 10.

"Did you hear about robots made from frog guts?
I know you eat toads and savor their butts.
You may be a droid but enjoy mud cold cuts.
Your tadpoles draw flies as do you, General Putz.

"Zod, can I sell your liver just after you croak?
Pen says you have until April, no joke.
I know it's infused with an alcohol soak, and
the carp in the river would eat it and choke.

"Thanks for listening, friend!
My crap will never end!
I'll troll and I'll post
Until I'm a ghost,
Then time in Hell I will spend.

"Zod, your butt smoke-detector kept beeping all night.
It bothered me much as I tried hard to write
one spam post a minute on all subjects trite,
but Dave needs his f*gs, even at your camp site.

"I think I need a new pair of glasses--
I gaze in the mirror and see two big a**es.
I'm tall and slim and my beauty outclasses
everyone else, Zod, in the great unwashed masses.

"Zod, I now think my children are genetically cursed
by their moms' DNA, which is just liverwurst
to my caviar breeding and cordon bleu verse,
and the moms didn't cede that I always come first.

"Thanks for the grip on my lip, friend!
Our back-and-forth circle jerk will never end!
I'll write something stupid,
While you'll be my Cupid,
Oh, the trolling times that we'll spend!

"Zod, I know that Tina pines for me still.
You must admit, no one does it like Will.
I kicked her out twice and then sent her a bill.
As girlfriends go, though, she was run-of-the-mill.

"Zod, you know I'm on top and that's where I'll stay.
You must keep my posts bumped"they can't go away.
I'll take morn and night and you have late day.
The rest of the time, stay below my beltway.

Bump.

We are looking forward to the sequel.

This is a response to the post seen at: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=690248264#690248264

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