On Mon, 30 Jun 2025 4:51:59 +0000, HarryLime wrote:

HarryLime wrote:
THE SHITHOLEVILLE MYTHOS: Ode to My Slurp-puppet PART FOUR

"I'm sick of helping zip up Zod's fly;
despair rages, old ages, incensed:
Brew, odes emerged from backwoods, yet I"
I got my GED in blowing guys
And I still don't have a lick of sense.

"I love your method for tendrizin' meat:
your salty stream, a cup of DEET.
You pound and pull and use your feet.
No Mrs. Dash matches your heat, General Eat.

"Thanks for stroking my ego, amigo.
Now let's stroke something more.
We'll go to your tent,
Where all your dignity went,
And stay up until four.

"Wow, Zod! Your post is the most!
These pats on my back
Are like a wedding toast!
You've really got class.
Your words are endearing,
Though I'm not quite hearing
Since my head is lodged up my ass.

"You, for me, are enough, General Muff--
Your hair, your beard and your way with handcuffs.
I love your paintings of me in the buff;
You'll always be my blue-tarped wine cream puff.

"I thank you and beg that you'll soon marry me.
We could live our bum lives in gummy sodomy.
I'm through with all women, you're just too yummy,
So please reply, 'Yes,' bawdily, Zod-Ami.

"Willy just had to stoke his kingly ego.
spur all the murderin' words and maniacin'.
From the mud he must arise again, laid low!
It shoulda been obvious--
it was the wrong captive audience!

"And alas, George... OH NO!
Had to be a bad ass in a glass house!
That mini Willy ego
shoulda used safety glass-
now look at his sorry ass!

"Thanks for the roll in my bed, General Zed.
Off to Waffle House, where this Donkey gets fed.
Last night on the crapper, I pooped out your head.
So thanks for the roll in my bed, General Zed.

"Oh boy! The joy!
Dearest Zod, your posts are just great!
They give me something for when I masturbate!
You may have heard my ego is bold,
But do not believe all the stories you are told.
For when you troll with me and say I am good,
It just means that no one else understood
That when you and I online together,
There's no criticism that we can't weather.
For when my boner reaches the max,
It pushes and tightens in my slacks.
But hark! Fear not! This is why YOU are here!
Let's get together, and have a beer!
No tent, no tarp, can cover our personal space.
I adore it when you cheer me to my face.
Now having read your post I've gotten wood,
Let's gather together, as good couples should.
You can massage my weenis any time,
What the hell--we're in Georgia, it's not a crime.
I've made other posts that you can read.
Hurry! Adore me! My wonderful homeless steed.

"Thanks for the endorse!
You can kiss my ass, of course!
Let's you and I away
For another day
Of trolling, spamming and discourse.

"Thank you, Mighty Benders,
I am now yers,
Trolled by masters,
No defenders,
Tit in blender,
Truth pretender,
I'm a liar.

"Thanks for the shine, ol' pal of mine!
Your words kiss my ass, they're priceless like brass.
Now read more of me, and kiss faster!
You're the dog and I am the master.
I command you to sit, stay and play dead,
But only after my words have been read.
Post more! Post often! Post here and post there!
It doesn't matter when or where.
Just feed my ego and join me in my safe space---
Hurry now, respond and make haste!
For we two are a couple of guys,
Who ignore the truth and live in the lies.
It's no secret that you and I troll,
Staying up all night and writing what's droll.
But forget all the haters, poo-poo to the truth!
It's our little love nest, now let's scram and vamoose.

"Jordy keeps posting a million hellos.
Is he really that friendly, or mentally slow?
I wonder if he's saying that he'd blow a hobo?
Maybe he'll go for a Deep South combo?

"I made a Facebook screen shot.
But real? You know it's not.
I lie and cheat a lot,
and always will get caught,
but that's what I was taught."

"Check out my words, they're simply quite rad!
Your comments are some of the best that I've ever had!
How about this--I'll write some more
While you keep at it like a cheap wh*re.
There's nothing to stop us, we'll keep on slurping!
All of our trolling seems to be working!
Less is more, more or less,
It's all good--no need to stress.
I'll write a line and you can applaud,
Thanks again for the nod, Zod.

"I'll recommend you since you recommend me,
Though I'll 'hi' that doof Isaac when good mornings be.
Our three-love will stand up to harsh scrutiny,
And that's something on which we all can agree.

"Thanks for reading my crap!
I'd hate to seem like a sap!
My words are all droll,
Because I'm a troll,
Now if you'll excuse me,
I need a nap.

"There was an old Dreckster who stank,
and whose boyfriend was utterly rank.
He sat by a river
destroying his liver
while giving the Plodster a wank.

"Zod, I confused you with a beanie hat--
you're not Penny's Hat but a scruffy rat,
or a beat-up, mangy street tom cat,
but you've made my head your habitat,
and your body heat's my thermostat.

"That Jordy is my kinda boy
Although he may be Isaac's toy
Old Isaac will share him
So he'll join my harem
For Dave, Stink and me to enjoy.

"Thanks for petting my ego,
You're a great lackey wherever we go.
I may be a troll--well, at least that's my goal,
But you? Nah. Not you, amigo.

"I appreciate your feedback, Jack!
Ain't it awesome how well I can yack?
My words, my poems, my lines are all the most!
There is simply no need for me to boast.
But, I'll do it anyway! Sure! Why not?
Just look at all of the that praise I have got!
From you! From jordy! From...um...all of my friends!
I'll keep on posting; the praise never ends!
My ego doth bow to you, my good man,
Now praise me some more; you know that you can!

"There was a jackass called Will,
Whose words were worse still.
His ego was big,
While he acted like a pig,
So of course everything he wrote was swill.

"Thanks for the endorse, of course!
Your words of encouragement are like peppermint!
So sweet and so pretty,
Not rough or gritty.
Keep writing more for me!
Give me praise for each line!
I don't know what's better--your words or mine.
Let's foray into the newsgroup, and troll it like mad!
There are opportunities for thanks and good mornings to be had!
Who cares what they say; they are nothing but trolls!"
They're all but obsessed; you and I know our roles!
I write something, then you say good job!
I'll throw words but it's compliments that YOU lob!
You and I are like birds of a feather;
Here's an idea: Let's get drunk together.
Just because my writings are crazy,
Doesn't mean that we have to be lazy.
Perhaps we can post and agree at sunrise;
Pardon me, please, I must go write more lies.

Bump.

This is a response to the post seen at: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=690248260#690248260

One of those rare perfect poems.

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