On Mon, 30 Jun 2025 4:52:34 +0000, HarryLime wrote:

HarryLime wrote:
THE SHITHOLEVILLE MYTHOS: Ode to My Slurp-puppet PART THREE

"Oh, Zod! You wonderful man!
Kiss my ass? Sure you can!
If you'll massage my groin,
I'll give you a coin.
You're my greatest fan!

"Thanks for the shake of my jake, Zod.
Your take on my jake is no fake.
Let's make a break for the lake,
Where you can make more shake on my jake.

"Don't shoot your scum on my bum, General Dumb.
I need my protein and should swallow some.
One-Drum Derundo's ho gives a great hum-
Job and won't let you go till you C*m.

"Thanks for the sore on my tool, General wh*re.
I've had scabs, clap and crabs, but not herpes before.
You'd best not have AIDS or I'll show you the door…
But thanks for the sore on my tool, General wh*re.

"I love when you smooch on my cooch, General Pooch.
My balls are so small they're the size of a brooch.
I'll give you some smokes so you won't have to mooch.
You can wash down my splooge with a bootle of hooch.

"Thanks for the pat on the back, Jordy!
Your flat pat on my back was close to my sac!
How about you and I go walk down to Zod,
Where you and he can admire my bod?

"I love how you handle my D, General Z.
Ol' Sandy's got nothing on you, I can see.
Roll it and pat it and slurp down my pee,
Here comes the payload, I'm going to squee!

"Thanks for the flick of my P*ick, Zod.
You're just right for my 'bod.
Perhaps we could meet under your tent,
After all--you don't pay rent.
Then see how you nod on my rod.

"I love how you bounce on my butt, General Mutt.
I'm sixteen times fatter than Jabba the Hutt.
You suck my left nut like a toothless old S*ut.
Be careful you don't get squashed under my gut.

"Thank you for munching my poo, General Doo.
No one chews doo-doo as gaily as you.
You're always ready to second my spew,
You look like a chimp, and you smell like one too.

"I love how you gum on my scabs, General Crabs.
You never make fun of my beer barrel abs.
You suck on my buttcheeks like two bacon slabs
And wipe up my jism with delicate dabs.

"Thanks for the thrill, Will.
Your posts give me a chill.
Let's say hello and good day,
In our own moronic way,
Then celebrate by doing more still.

"Let's all say 'Good day' to our friend Isaac, too.
He's gayer than gay and he slurps up our spew.
But much as I love him, you still are my boo.
So bend over, General, and give me a screw.

"Thanks for the nip on my hip, Zod.
Your grip on my hip gives me quite a zip.
Let's run to the river, where we'll shiver,
And go together for a dip.

"The Chattahoochee's full of sh*t,
But it's such fun to skinny dip
With my lil' buddy, General Zit
That it's always worth the trip.

"Thanks for the slap to my lap, Zod.
You always know how to polish my rod.
When I see you heading my way,
I feel amazingly gay,
Now let's go roll in the hay.

"I love when you nuzzle my fuzz, General Guzzle.
Ol' Did really does and he does love to snuzzle.
Folks say when he's gets buzzed that old b**ch needs a muzzle.
But push come to shove, that old putz sure can guzzle.

"Thank you for spanking my donkey, General Monkey.
Now wipe of that chin cause it's gotten quite spunky.
You let me ride 'cowgirl' though I'm a bit chunky.
And thank you for spanking my donkey, General Monkey.

"I love when you splooge on my cheek, General Pipsqueak,
Then lick it all off before I can speak.
Next you yank down my pants, give my wanker a tweak
Then gum it till I'm limp and weak.

"Thanks for the walk to my c*ck, Zod.
Your wiggles make me giggle.
Let's do it again,
Heck, it's not a sin.
Why not stop for a wiggle on Wednesday?

"I love how you lap up my splooge, General Stooge.
You couldn't be sweeter if you was my cooze.
My willie is small, and my moobs are quite huge
But you gulp down my jizz just like booze.

"Thank you for slurping my slop, General Slob.
You squee when I squirt a big glob in your gob.
You smile with glee when your head starts to bob.
Please don't burp when you're slurping my slop, General Slob.

"I love how your b*tthole's so tight, General Shite.
The band's are tight too, but yours fits me just right.
Now Screechy can suck me long into the night,
But you've got no teeth, so there's no chance you'll bite.

"Thank you for straddling my pole, General Hole.
You get me so hot that I lose all control.
I feel something furry... are you felching a mole?
But thank you for straddling my pole, General Hole.

"Lordy, jordy!
Your hellos and good-days
Always attract my gaze.
Let's you and I
Off for some pizza pie,
And giggle over our trollish ways.

"Thank you for nibbling my nub, General Zub.
You slurp up my gibbering and give me a rub.
You swallow my splooge with a glub-glub-glub-glub.
So I thank you for nibbling my nub, Gerneral Zub.

"I love your nod on my rod, Zod!
We're like two peas in a pod.
Your touch of my wang
Gives me a bang
Now touch faster! Oh God!

"Thank you for slobbering my head, General Slop.
You slurp it and gulp it and don't want to stop.
But keep your zid hid or I'll call for a cop.
Still I thank you for slobbering my head, General Slop.

"I love how you tongue my bunghole, General Mole.
For a scrawny old redneck, you do it with soul.
But it's best when you twist your whole fist in my hole
And when I'm dead and gone, you can still bone my skull.

"Thanks for the rub on my nub, Zod.
Your cheers and my spittle
Puts us in the middle
Of something quite odd.
Let's write, not fight,
Then troll into the night
If you want, you can call me a God.

"I love how you wiggle my shrimp, General Chimp.
You jiggle, I giggle, too bad my shrimp's limp.
If you'll be my pig, I'll be your Goodyear blimp.
I'll peel my banana for you, General Chimp.

"Thank you for tickling me dick, General P*ick.
You're better than 'Retta at turning a trick.
A quarter a quickie, or ten cents a lick.
I got fitty cent, but don't know 'rithmetick.

"Can this get any more silly?
What's wrong with Will's little Willy?
Just because Zod gives it a tug,
While I personally prefer just a hug,
Doesn't mean it has to be silly, really.

"Half a line, half a line,
half a line authored,
All in the valley of Columbeth
Wrote the sick drunkard.

"Half a barf, half a barf
Half a barf, whole barf.
Into the mouth of the Donkey
Barfed the sick drunkard.

"One son to the right of him,
One son to the left of him,
Pissbum underneath him,
Dundered and blundered
Known by their snot and smell;
Coldly they flowed and dwelled
on the shores of the Chattahoochee,
toads, donkey and drunkard be.

"Theirs is not to work or try,
Theirs is not to verbify,
Theirs is but to whine and lie:
Into the Alley of Columbeth
Ho'd, the hick drunkard.

"Thanks for the tug on my plug, General Slug.
Please scratch my ass 'cause you gave me a bug.
I'm gay as Clay and your my own butt-plug.
So thanks for the tug on my plug, General Slug.

"By the shores of Chattahoochee
Where the pissbums pitch their teepee
LoHo dances hoochie coochie
While the stinkbums wank their peepee,
There a hillbilly named Willie
Gathered mice to make some chili
And he sang his little ditties
About Sarah and her titties
But his verses weren't witty
No his verses weren't witty
And he smelled a little shitty
From the poopoo and the peepee
That were crusted on bum clothes
Twixt his toes and in his hair;
But his buddy, Stinky Georgie
Who camped on the Chattahoochee
Had filth clogging up his big nose
So he never seemed to care "
Thus, they made the perfect pair.

Bump.

This is a response to the post seen at: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=690247653#690247653

Even greater than the first two parts. It will live on when all other literature has faded away.

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