On Mon, 30 Jun 2025 4:53:09 +0000, HarryLime wrote:
HarryLime wrote:
THE SHITHOLEVILLE MYTHOS: Ode to My Slurp-puppet, PART TWO
"Thanks for the drool on my tool, General Fool.
I'm just a mule, but you think I'm so cool.
Too bad you smell like a rancid cesspool.
But thanks for the drool on my tool, General Fool.
"I love how you rub on my nub, General Bub.
I'm big as a tub, but my nub's just a stub.
Lift up my chub and give it a good scrub,
I'm your tub of blubber, you're my General Bub.
"Thanks for the wank on my crank, Zod.
Your stank on my flank makes me feel like a god.
The rank stank on my flank
Means I don't have to wank
Thanks for visiting my bod.
"Sit on my face any time and place
Your old dharma bum has an odious taste
I may have to replace you with Isaac L. Chase
His jordy's a shorty, but you're a disgrace.
"Thanks for the nod on my rod, Zod!
You're a god to my rod, Zod.
I'm no clod, I know my bod,
The nod to my rod is sod to my bod.
"I love how you twiddle my twig, General Pig,
Fadiddling my piddle may make it grow big.
Just twirl it about like your own whirligig.
When I splooge in your mouth you can take a big swig.
"Thanks for the nod on my rod, Zod ol' boy.
Your nod on my rod brings me plenty of joy.
For honesty's sake, let's not be coy.
I really like you as a boy toy.
"I love when you slime me with C*m, General Scum,
You gum on my balls till my pecker gets numb.
You're dumber than dumb, but you suck on my bum
Then stick in your thumb as you search for a plum.
"Thanks for tangling with my dangling, Zod.
I love it when your toothless gums massage my bod.
You never lag on the sag of my wag.
Let's get together, you old f*g.
"I love when you positively scrutinize my scrotum.
You say it smells fruity when you douse it with rum.
Although my balls look like two wads of chewed gum,
You skim off my pond scum, thank you, General Dumb.
"Thanks for the whack on my arm, General Dharma.
The bone didn't crack, so there's really no harm;
Though I'm sad to relate, Brother Dave bought the farm…
But thanks for the whack on my arm, General Dharma
"Your reading and comments really are great.
You never say bad things about my gross weight.
The germs on my body date, mate and mutate.
I'm glad we're not straight but inmates, General Sate.
"Thanks for the nail in my tail, General Fail.
Your kiss tastes like poop and you smell a bit stale,
Let's bang Nephew Jordy and make that b**ch wail!
And keep nailing this whale in the tail, General Fail.
"Keep your damn hands off my kid, General Zid.
Diddle his dunghole, but don't pull his pid.
You want Clay, you pay! -- and you've nothing to bid.
So keep your damn hands off my kid, General Zid.
"Thanks for the meal on Jim's dime, General Slime.
A scam that rewarding was well worth our time.
I pity the fools who insist it's a crime.
And thanks for the meal on Jim's dime, General Slime.
"Feel free to ogle Sarah's bountiful tits.
Those suckers are big as my hairy arm pits.
You'll see more if you buy a fishing permit,
So buy and she'll fill up your mitts, General Twit.
"Thank you for buying my book, General Schnook
You can squeeze Sarah's boobs, but give my moobs a look.
Folks tell me my poems are gobbledygook,
But thank you for buying my book, General Schnook.
"I love what you've smeared in my beard, General Weird,
though you had to climb up on my gut (triple tiered).
I cheered when you called me your tuna, flap-eared.
(And I'm not pregnant yet, as we both had first feared.)
"Thank you for slurping my load, General Toad.
I've heard that it tastes like a backed up commode.
I splooged up your beard as I crowed 'Thar she blowed!'
So thank you for slurping my load, General Toad.
"Oh, Zod! You sycophant!
You're exactly what I want!
Let's not talk
About the lock you've got on my c*ck
Just make sure you're carrying a sock.
"Thanks for rereading my words, General Turd.
You take coprophagia to heights quite absurd.
When folks call them 'garbage,' you flip them the bird,
So thanks for rereading my words, General Turd.
"I love how you diddle my twat, General Snot.
Your tongue in my dunghole always makes me hot.
I know that you'd rather be raping a tot.
Ass is legal " so take what you've got.
"Thanks for the tug on my jug, Zod
Your holds on my folds are like God.
I'm glad you've got no teeth to bite,
Teeth marks there would be quite a sight.
"Forget old Loretta, she's just a skank ho.
She's banged every tramp in the camp and what's mo,
I banged her myself, though it cost me some dough.
Though she'll take skunk or crack, horse, hash, blue dolls or blow.
"Thanks for inspiring this Ode, General Blowed.
You're not without charm, for a squat, smarmy toad.
I'll give you a kiss if you'll swallow my load.
And thanks for inspiring this Ode, General Blowed.
"You slurp all my posts and you never complain.
You'd tell me to FOAD if you had half a brain.
I hope my old tarp keeps you safe from the rain.
Now shut up and diddle my piddle again!
"Thanks for being so keen on my bean, Zod.
Your attention is always welcome on my rod.
I'll write another poem and we'll trod to your pod,
Where you can nod on my bod in the sod.
"I'll hold you and squeeze you like you was a bunny
And if that doesn't please you, I'll give you some money;
I've got fourteen cents, so our future looks sunny…
Now whip out that tongue 'cause my bunghole is runny.
"Thanks for the roll in the hay, General Gay.
You're not much on foreplay, but better than Clay.
If I close my eyes, you could be Lady K.
So suck up and slobber away, General Gay.
"You're such a sphinc for my dink, General Stink.
I'm glad that you finally got out of the clink.
Clay may be my son, but you're my favorite twink.
You gurgle all night like the drain in my sink.
"Thanks for the dance on my pants, Zod.
You really know how to work on my bod!
Your pat on my back
Is even greater on my sac
Now let's see what you can do on my rod.
"Try not to drool on my fat, General Gnat.
I know what you're thinking, but I'll squash you flat.
So put down that knife and go hunt down a rat.
And keep your old drool off my fat, General Gnat.
"Thank you for chugging my train, General Stain.
You tug and you chug and you drive me insane.
Call me 'Out-damn-standing!' then slurp me again!
And thank you for chugging my train, General Stain.
Bump.
One of the greatest poems in the English (or any other) language.
This is a response to the post seen at: http://www.jlaforums.com/viewtopic.php?p=690247572#690247572
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