First off, WELCOME if you're a newcomer, or anoldcomer, recently returned; I appreciate everyone in this echo -- you're why I bother for as little as they pay me! YOU are worth it! (sure, that counts as my objoke inclusion for this post, if I want it to be it ;) )

Say hi, share your favourite joke, rated PG-14, where you're from,. & why that place is funny; maybe a funny childhood story from your own childhood or someone you were close to,growing up? Jump in, have fun; reply to any post you read in here, should you feel the urge -- nothing you see is private. Do include funny content n every post, though, please (we call that an Obligatory Joke(ObJoke for short), when you add in an extra bit of funny to make up for off-topic chat content)

Okay, enough intro, on to the main point(s) of this posting. . .

Rules, Regulations, & Guidelines for Fidonet's FUNNY Jokes and Stories echo

This file and the rules as per the Fido official echo description constitute our rules & regulations, binding on every user in this echo, by their participation (whether passive(reading) or active(posting); if this displeases you, you know the way you came in -- you may & should exit the same way & never return.

Echo purpose: to hear something repeated you've just said.

Note all are labeled #1 as they're all important --

#1: You must (re)read these every time you see them posted by myself or another moderator, addressed to "All"

#1: even if a rule, below, seems phrased humorously (even your mods try to stay on topic) it is a hard & fast rule, requiring your adherence

#1: Have fun or GTFO

#1: don't be a jackass; you're a guest in other people's home.

#1: every post must contain funny content (text)

#1: English(UK+CAN) is the natural language of the fully evolved human being, thus English is the echo's official language. American English is American & true English<TM> users may feel free to humorously(key) poke fun at Americanisms

#1: grammar & punctuation is probably important -- mis-use opens yourself up to funny or punny ridicule.

#1: leave the moderating to the moderator(s); you may not see it being done, but we work behind the scenes often. If you have a complaint, echomail or email your mods; do NOT post into the echo (unless you're following rule#1 of course,
& being funny)

#1: This echo is rated PG-16; i.e. content should not be overly shocking to the average 16 year old (boy or girl); no porn -- that's elsewhere in cyberspace

#1: NO ads for products, services, echos, pages, or ANYTHING, except as you've sent to the mod, with agreed upon payment, & the mod posts it for you, following all rules.

#1: NO auto-posting (bots); this echo is for humans; if you can fully understand these rules, you are likely human.

#1: the mods are not responsible for any damage to your connection devices (including modems & computer & monitor) perpetrated by a moderator's use of the Freister Device (detects your personal(not BBS, not your fido upline) source system & sends proprietary signals to cause your disks, CPU, mainboard, & modem to die ("fry" from Freister, the inventor, & my friend)

#1: You have been warned

#1 Swearing should be kept to a minimum -- & only as befits the joke/thread -- we're adults here & should act & talk like it. If you're mixing them in randomly like salt & pepper, you're too young to be in here.

#1: These rules should appear once a month, but regardless if you've seen or read them, you MUST follow all, or delist the echo &/or visit others (&/or make your own, even!)

#1: We only roast the ones we love

#1: The End (or is it?)

APPENDIX i:
Remember: Even if some jokes in here seem a bit "difficult" for you to enjoy, that humour is not universal; this echo is for everyone.

The most important thing is:

#1 Have fun
#1 Include a joke in every post/reply
#1 Keep it all PG-16

EVRRY post must contain funny. . . hmmm. . .December. . .
A 25-year-old guy's best mate of the same age was dating a woman who was 76, so he addressed his friend, "Dude! I get that May-December romances happen; of course, December will see lush young spring in May. . . but what does May get from December?"

"Christmas!" his buddy answered with a swagger & grin.

Hmm, Christmas, yup it's coming. . .

Hopefully these will keep you going until the big day:

1. YouÆre just in the (Saint) Nick of time. 2. Snow thank you.
3. I love you all the way from the top of your head to your mistletoes. 4. Just like BeyoncéùI sleigh, I sleigh. 5. Step right up, jingle file.
6. Time to spruce things up a bit.
7. You need to branch out.
8. Icy what you did there.
9. Are you going to post your gingerbread house on Instagraham? 10. You know how to make a fa-la-la-la-lasting impression. 11. Wreath it and weep.
12. Having something under the tree is such a gift.

Or maybe Hanukah is more your style? Here's 2 for each day of Hanukah: Which hand is best to light the menorah with? Neither, itÆs best to light it with a candle.
How can you recognize a Hanukkah hippie? HeÆs the one with his hair in dreidel- locks.
How much Hanukkah gelt did the skunk get? One cent. WhatÆs the best Hanukkah gift for the person who has everything? A burglar alarm.
What do you call a speck that falls into the latke pan? An unidentified frying object.
Why donÆt we eat clowns at Hanukkah? Because they taste funny. WhatÆs the difference between Hanukkah and a dragon? One lasts for eight nights, the other sometimes ate knights. WhatÆs the best thing to put into the sufganiyot? Your teeth. What did the candles say when the menorah complained about getting too hot?
ôWhoa, a talking menorah.ö
What did the older Hanukkah candle say to the younger one? ôYouÆre too young to smoke.ö
Why was the broom late to the Hanukkah party? It over-swept. Miriam goes to the post office to buy stamps for her holiday cards. She asks the cashier, ôMay I please have 50 Hanukkah stamps?ö The cashier asks, ôWhat denomination?ö To which Miriam replies, ôOh vey, has it come to this? OK, give me 6 Orthodox, 12 Conservative, and 32 Reform.ö Why are there only 8 days of Hanukkah? Because 7 ate 9. How many potatoes does it take to make potato pancakes? A latke. Why do you put candles on top of the menorah? ItÆs too hard to put them on the bottom.
What did the loaf of bread say to the other loaf of bread during Hanukkah? ôHappy challah days!ö

Or maybe Kwanzaa?
This celebration is absolutely ôlitöùseven candles worth! LetÆs get Kwanzaa-fied and festive. Feeling ôumojaö than ever this season. Unity? More like you-knit-y!
This holiday is root-ed in greatness.
ôKujichaguliaö rolls right off the pun-tongue.
LetÆs self-determinately have a good laugh. My Kwanzaa spirit is burning brighter than my kinara. The only thing better than family is family with puns! The soul food isnÆt the only thing thatÆs cheesy tonight.

Sum it all up with a cheery greeting: Mare Egrets Moose, Panda Hippo Gnu Deer! or
Hapry Chriskwanzukkah! (26 days of celebrating JOY!!!!) So chug that rum-laced eggnog (I prefer dark rum in home-made super thick nog) Eat that rum-soaked Christmas ham & rum-soaked fruit cake Guzzle rghat bottle of cheap champagne (r cheap out & get a bottle of Baby Duck)

Rum, Wine, liqueur, Beer(traditional is a heavy dark ale(i.e. a Stout) called "Winter Pudding" in the UK & parts of North America, Scotch Whiskey, Vodka, Tequila, Ciders, Coolers, booze-filled chocolates, Bourbon, or whatever else you have or think of -- drink up & be thankful you're alive this day! CELEBRATE according to your traditions (old & new); make children's faces light up and shine with pure happiness & joy.

A nice 500ml (pint) mug of hot chocolate with a shot of Kahlua or Bailey's in it is a difinetreast safter playing in the snow, for those of the age of majority in their location and whose spiritual commitment allows drinking unto God, family, neighbours, friends, & fellow countrymen A separate toast for each!

Or, if you prefer, & it's legal where you are(i.e. all of Canada & 2-3/50 states in the USA), spark a fatty & toke your toast to each and all the above!
& LAUGHING!! Keep checking in here for new jokes, puns, & stories -- not seeing what you like? Post examples & requests!



--- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-7
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)